I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
