he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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