What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
