i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
