i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
