Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
