he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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