the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
