so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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