there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
