he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
