Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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