I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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