ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
