I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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