Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
operation harelip BJ is a go
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
