maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
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I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think I sprained my soul last night
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I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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