Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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