if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
