and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
