; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
