The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
