Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
