Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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