Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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