I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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