Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom

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  (313): i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom http://tfl.nu/6o5z
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (895)
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  (516): View more from New York

  U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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  (516): U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by http://tfl.nu/oseu
  Replies (4) Good night (2869) Bad night (457)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.

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  (512): clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar. http://tfl.nu/1hcy
  Replies (10) Good night (680) Bad night (1637)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Could a canary swim?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Last time I ever let you pet sit.

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  (651): Could a canary swim? (952): Last time I ever let you pet sit. http://tfl.nu/tcs0
  Replies (10) Good night (687) Bad night (3203)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

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  (703): BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP. http://tfl.nu/bqsy
  Replies (20) Good night (988) Bad night (6521)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

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  (615): What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job http://tfl.nu/r059
  Replies (8) Good night (1329) Bad night (649)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool

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  (574): Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool http://tfl.nu/b45a
  Replies (7) Good night (671) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on

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  (540): i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on http://tfl.nu/ddt2
  Replies (1) Good night (1256) Bad night (585)
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  (916): View more from California

  I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.

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  (916): I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly. http://tfl.nu/j9zm
  Replies (2) Good night (1003) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.

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  (301): I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO. (301): Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever. http://tfl.nu/txh9
  Replies (11) Good night (1968) Bad night (493)
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  (818): View more from California

  It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.

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  (818): It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care. http://tfl.nu/qr5p
  Replies (9) Good night (1016) Bad night (1444)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  God bless us, everyone.

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  (228): I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!" (601): God bless us, everyone. http://tfl.nu/p8dj
  Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!

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  (863): I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!! http://tfl.nu/52t4
  Replies (9) Good night (368) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!

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  (805): Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well! http://tfl.nu/91dr
  Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.

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  (858): The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out. http://tfl.nu/1ep1
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (221)

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