ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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