For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.