Texts From Last Night

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  (555): View more from

  Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.

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  (555): Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style. http://tfl.nu/a25z
  Replies (30) Good night (2155) Bad night (4053)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.

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  (304): Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit. http://tfl.nu/67fb
  Replies (20) Good night (4318) Bad night (1158)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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  (317): well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night http://tfl.nu/od6j
  Replies (19) Good night (1641) Bad night (6363)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...

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  (801): I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag... http://tfl.nu/qim6
  Replies (7) Good night (1033) Bad night (3249)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.

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  (315): He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like. http://tfl.nu/nq61
  Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (3115)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.

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  (251): Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf. http://tfl.nu/98oh
  Replies (6) Good night (684) Bad night (2124)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

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  (630): I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover http://tfl.nu/rxwn
  Replies (6) Good night (998) Bad night (1211)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.

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  (347): I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick. http://tfl.nu/dk06
  Replies (6) Good night (1204) Bad night (616)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party

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  (319): So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party http://tfl.nu/6iyv
  Replies (7) Good night (1216) Bad night (527)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.

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  (801): You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good. http://tfl.nu/w4bo
  Replies (4) Good night (1665) Bad night (442)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel

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  (603): I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel http://tfl.nu/5thv
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (306)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"

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  (304): Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home" http://tfl.nu/2t6k
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (280)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning

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  (716): Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning http://tfl.nu/4lcz
  Replies (2) Good night (375) Bad night (641)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.

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  (862): This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex. http://tfl.nu/wq13
  Replies (6) Good night (1342) Bad night (227)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.

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  (507): The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes. http://tfl.nu/cmuk
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (179)

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