Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college http://tfl.nu/gnu1
  Replies (17) Good night (2059) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with? (1-805): Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info. http://tfl.nu/n3dd
  Replies (27) Good night (877) Bad night (2861)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good http://tfl.nu/r9g3
  Replies (5) Good night (1594) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call. http://tfl.nu/dsl8
  Replies (8) Good night (940) Bad night (4327)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass. http://tfl.nu/z2s4
  Replies (17) Good night (856) Bad night (5870)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x
  Replies (63) Good night (5736) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/7krg
  Replies (8) Good night (1060) Bad night (3589)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there. http://tfl.nu/oxsp
  Replies (9) Good night (3336) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer http://tfl.nu/s04i
  Replies (8) Good night (3164) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver. http://tfl.nu/x8br
  Replies (9) Good night (3721) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off. http://tfl.nu/azk9
  Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (2290)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles. http://tfl.nu/rqwc
  Replies (4) Good night (1443) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies. http://tfl.nu/g6fw
  Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata. http://tfl.nu/y7xq
  Replies (2) Good night (1458) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions http://tfl.nu/o45u
  Replies (4) Good night (720) Bad night (320)

Randomize