i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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