i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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