Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize