I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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