Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
