my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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