i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
