You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
