He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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