Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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