It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
