Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
