My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
then he tried to convert me to islam
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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