if you like me you must not know who I am
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My vagina is officially offended.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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