it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
