she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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