I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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