Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
