i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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