I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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