And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
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I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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