Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

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(949): View more from California

I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.

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(216): View more from Ohio

you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...

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(317): View more from Indiana

Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.

(917): View more from New York City

me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.

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(516): View more from New York

drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries

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(480): View more from Arizona

Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?

(520): View more from Arizona

No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas

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(630): View more from Illinois

Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?

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