Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
