I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
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The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize