Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
