Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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