Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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