tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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