Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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