she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
