why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
