In the future we'll all be gay
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
