Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
