: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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