Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's never too late to be topless.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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