Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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