OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
nutella sex= disaster
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
