sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
