the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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