at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
