So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
